The Heart of the Matter
by can't have you
Summary: Starts off with Bella and Jacob doing something they really should not be doing, then about different characters and how they learn to forgive each other. Post-Eclipse. *ABANDONED - at least for now.*
1. Jacob & Bella

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. India.Arie (and Don Henley) own the song "The Heart of the Matter."

**The Heart of the Matter**

_I've been learning to live without you now_

_But I miss you sometimes_

_The more I know, the less I understand_

_All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again_

_I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter_

_But my will gets weak_

_And my thoughts seem to scatter_

_But I think it's about forgiveness_

_Forgiveness_

_Even if, even if you don't love me anymore…_

**Chapter 1:** **Jacob/Bella**

**A/N: Never in my life did I think I would be writing a fanfic about Jacob! Haha, oh well. I'm still Team Edward all the way!**

**JPOV**

The pack was starting to get pretty annoyed with the fact that all I thought about these days was Bella's impending doom with that bloodsucker. _Bella this, Bella that. Do you ever stop thinking about Bella?_ They would ask. I just shook comments like these off, but the truth was that until Bella was truly mine, not a day would go by that I would not think about her.

The nerve that he had to send me an invitation to their wedding…_filthy bloodsucker_. The thought of Bella, my Bella, being turned into one of them was unbearable. This made the pack even angrier with me. We are werewolves, and it bugged them to death that the only thing I thought about was our natural enemy, the vampires.

I know I had already lost my chance with her after the whole kiss thing, and I was feeling ready to just give up on her. No matter what I did to apologize, she kept giving me the cold shoulder. I was unsure if this was the bloodsucker's doing, not allowing Bella and I to be in contact with each other now that the two of them were engaged and all. Ugh, engaged. It made me gag just to think that Bella kissed the leech, and now they were engaged. That was until I got the call from Bella saying that we needed to talk, and that it was urgent.

"Did your bloodsuck—I mean Edward—give you permission this time?" I asked when she jumped out of her truck, the truck that I had fixed up for her nonetheless.

"This has nothing to do with Edward," Bella responded coldly.

We went inside, and Bella took a seat on the couch. She started looking around the room and then out the window.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, noticing her odd behavior.

"Yes. Perfectly fine," She responded in the same curt tone she had used on me just minutes before.

"Seriously Bella, tell me what's wrong. I know something is up," I prodded.

Bella sat still on the couch for a few minutes, and then slowly started to speak.

"I don't think I can see you anymore Jake. I'm sorry but I have to go," Bella responded and then stood up to leave.

"Aw, come on Bells! Did the bloodsucker put you up to this?"

"No, Jacob, _Edward_ did not put me up to this," Bella responded icily. "_Edward_ would never even think of making me do something against my will. _You_ on the other hand, apparently would." With that, she was out the door.

"Bells come on! Seriously let's just talk, we can figure this out. I promise," I yelled after her, but it was already too late. Her truck had come to life faster than I had expected, and she was driving away from my house as fast as her truck would go. _Going back to her leech_, I guessed.

_She's still freaking out about that kiss, I bet. Girls…They have so many problems_, I thought to myself.

**BPOV**

_I'm doing the right thing. If I can stay away from Jake, I won't hurt Edward. I'm doing the right thing,_ I tried to tell myself, but it failed. I had already turned my truck around.

_I'm just going to go in there and tell him how I really feel. I can do this. I know I can._ I hesitated as I pulled my hand up into a fist to knock at the door.

"Jake?" I called, but no one answered. I figured he was probably out in the woods or something. The door was open, and I let myself in. "Jake?" I called out again. _Oh well,_ I thought to myself. _I'll just wait then, maybe catch up on some cooking shows or something. _

"Bells?" I smiled when I heard my name.

"Jake! Hey!" I called back.

"I thought you left…What's going on?" He asked with a hint of sincerity in his voice.

"I really just don't know to tell you the truth. It's just that the last name I saw you, after you had been attacked by the newborn…I just feel like I never got to really say a proper goodbye," I had to force the words out.

"Bells, both you and I know that nothing will ever be the same between us. Just because Edward won this time doesn't mean that I won't stop fighting for you. I promise that I will never go a day without thinking about you. I will always love you."

I had no idea how to respond to this. I had so many emotions going through my mind right now; how I wished Jasper could be here to calm me down. Without thinking, I started kissing Jacob Black, and trust me, it was not a very innocent kiss. I was making out with Jacob even though my wedding to Edward, the love of my existence (hopefully) was less than three weeks away. Even though I was supposed to be with Alice for my wedding dress fitting in ten minutes. Even though this could screw up absolutely everything.


	2. Secret

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. India.Arie (and Don Henley) own the song "The Heart of the Matter."

**The Heart of the Matter**

**Chapter 2**

_I've been learning to live without you now_

_But I miss you sometimes_

_The more I know, the less I understand_

_All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again_

_I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter_

_But my will gets weak_

_And my thoughts seem to scatter_

_But I think it's about forgiveness_

_Forgiveness_

_Even if, even if you don't love me anymore…_

**Chapter 2:** **Secret**

Both of our shirts were off before I realized what I was doing.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I scolded myself as I pulled away from Jacob. "What the _hell_ was I thinking? Jake, how could you let me do that?!" I searched the room for my blouse, finding it laying on the couch and slipping off the edge. How ironic, seeing as this was a perfect metaphor for my life at the current moment.

"Not gonna lie, I didn't mind it Bells," He replied, giving me a once-over as I was buttoning my blouse back up.

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God." I was hyperventilating.

"Bells, chill! So you wanted to experiment a little before you signed your life away to the bloodsuckers! No biggie!"

I could not believe he was telling me to "chill" about making pretty much the biggest mistake of my life. Edward would never tell me to calm down. Oh God, I thought I was going to be sick. _Edward_. What was Edward going to say about this?

Scratch that, I was in the bathroom puking my guts out before Jake could fit in another word.

"You okay in there Bells?" He asked.

"Yeah Jake, just peachy," I said between the hurls. _Maybe my dress will fit better now,_ I foolishly thought to myself. _Ha, like Edward would ever consider marrying me after he found out what I did with the dog…_Wait. That was it. Edward never had to know. We were on the reservation, meaning Alice could not have seen us doing…that. And, if I could keep Jacob and the pack away from Edward for I don't know, the rest of their existences, Edward would never be able to find out. I actually laughed to myself at my stupid plan. It could never, ever work. Jacob had just gotten the farthest he had with a girl ever. A guy like Jacob would never keep something like that secret, no matter if he had phased or not. How did I ever let myself do something so stupid?

Suddenly, my cell phone started ringing from the living room. _Please don't be Edward, please don't answer it Jacob, _I thought to myself.

"Bells, your phone's ringing! Want me to grab it? It's probably the bloodsucker!" He asked with a smirk in his voice.

"Jacob, get the _fuck_ away from my phone," I tried to say it with all the calm I could muster.

It was Alice, calling to see where I was. Right, I was supposed to be at the Cullen's house for my dress fitting with Alice over forty-five minutes ago.

"Oh, hi Alice!" I tried to pull off confusion, but Alice called my bluff right away. "Ok, I'm at La Push right now. I was just leaving anyway," I shot Jacob a dirty look as I said this. "Don't bother coming to pick me up or anything; I have my truck."

"Don't be silly Bella! Edward's already on his way over! I would have sent him over earlier, but I wasn't able to see where you were until just now when I saw Edward coming to get you! Some psychic I am!" Alice said with a laugh. "He's running since you drove over, so he'll be there in a minute or two. I'll see you soon sis!" With that, I slammed the phone shut and ran out to my truck. It slowly wheezed to life and I was able to race out of Jacob's driveway without even saying goodbye. _It's probably better off this way, seeing as how well saying goodbye to him last time went_, I thought.

_Shit, shit, shit_, I thought to myself again. _I am _so _dead. Actually, on second thought, death sounds wonderful right now. _I must be going crazy, making jokes at a time like this. I peeled off into the shoulder and dialed Edward's cell. Luckily, he answered on the first ring.

"Bella? What's going on? Is something wrong?" His musical voice inquired, worried for my safety. "I'm almost at La Push. Seriously, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine! What would be wrong with me?" I laughed nervously. "I already left Jacob's house, so you don't need to worry about swinging by to come get me. I'll just meet you back at your house, okay?"

"No problem, I already saw where you are from Alice. I just turned around, so I can probably be at your truck in thirty seconds," He said with a smile in his voice.

_FUCK_. Why did I have to deal with him now? Fifty-fifty shot that he already knows. Barely twenty seconds had passed before my door jerked open, and I was pulled into a passionate kiss.

"I missed you," Edward said as he moved his lips down to my collarbone. "But really love, you _stink_."

I laughed his remark off uneasily, and he looked at me, his eyes full of suspicion. "Did the dog try to pull one on you again?" He asked, sadness showing in his beautiful topaz colored eyes. I also saw his fists tense up; he was ready to break Jacob's jaw like he had promised.

"No," Well, not _technically_. "We just talked for awhile. I think that we cleared everything up though. He knows that you and I are getting married, and that I can't be friends with him because he constantly drives a wedge between us."

"You didn't have to do that, love."

"I know, but I just thought it was the right thing to do and all." God, I was starting to sound noble. The only word that could describe me know was, well skank.

"I really don't deserve you," He replied with a smile. Oh, the irony. If he only knew what I was really doing for the past half-hour…

"Let's get you home. Alice is already freaking out about the time she lost from planning the seating chart for the reception. Ha, Alice will be Alice," He rolled his beautiful eyes and then started my truck. I was silent the whole trip back to the house.

"Bella? You sure everything is okay? You seem so…distant," Edward asked as we pulled up to the Cullen mansion.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess just the whole wedding planning thing is getting to me," I replied.

"If it's too much, we can push it back and wait a few months," Edward suggested.

"No, no seriously I'm fine. Everything will be fine." Before I knew it, Alice had grabbed my arm and whisked me up to her closet. She scolded me for being late, and about how she has lost so much wedding planning time. _She'll live,_ I told myself and laughed silently.

I put the dress on and felt so guilty. Where was Jasper when you needed him?

"Bella, have you been losing weight? Not to be intrusive or anything, but this dress needs to be taken in again! It's the second time this month, and where am I going to find time to get it taken in yet again? Your breath smells pretty bad too…almost as bad as that dog's scent." She eyed me curiously, and then I thought I heard a click go off in her mind.

_Oh crap, she knows._


	3. Screwed

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. India.Arie (and Don Henley) own the song "The Heart of the Matter."

**The Heart of the Matter**

**Chapter 3**

_I've been learning to live without you now_

_But I miss you sometimes_

_The more I know, the less I understand_

_All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again_

_I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter_

_But my will gets weak_

_And my thoughts seem to scatter_

_But I think it's about forgiveness_

_Forgiveness_

_Even if, even if you don't love me anymore…_

**Chapter 3:** **Screwed**

"Oh Alice! I can't believe how stupid I was! I've ruined everything haven't I?!" I said with tears rolling down my face.

"What? _Ohh…_" Alice just had a vision. "Well, I was going to ask you if your eating habits had changed, but now I see what happened. I just had a vision of you confessing to me what happened with that Jacob Black this morning." She did not look happy.

I could not believe that she did not know until now. If had not slipped and just played along with her whole "eating disorder" thing, everything probably would have still been okay for a while. It would have been like nothing had ever happened. I might have found myself in a treatment facility for the next few weeks, but I could live with that. Living without Edward, however, would be unbearable.

"Bella, you are like a sister to me. Edward _is_ my brother though. I have obligations to both of you. Frankly, I really don't know which side to take now. Whatever I do will hurt both of you in the end. I just can't believe you acted so irresponsibly! You're marrying my brother in three weeks for crying out loud!" Alice sounded hurt, but also extremely angry with me.

"You can't let him find out Alice," I pleaded.

"Chances are he already knows. Remember, he _can_ read my mind and hear my thoughts," Alice replied.

What had I done? Here I was, so naively thinking that my almost sister would take my side. Of course she would side with her brother. Of course.

The tears came more profusely now. The gravity of everything was catching up to me. I heard a knock at the door next, but I just let it go, figuring it was a figment of my imagination.

It was Edward.

Edward had heard me crying from down the hall and wanted to make sure everything was all right. I pleaded with Alice through my eyes to clear her mind. I could not believe I was lying to Edward. How could I have let myself do that?

"Bella! What's wrong, love? You can tell me anything!" Edward said, worry present in his eyes.

"Nothing, just a little bit worried over the wedding and all. I mean, what if I trip walking down the aisle?" I lied.

Edward chuckled and gave me my favorite crooked smile. He did not know.

"Don't worry, love. Alice will make sure everything goes smoothly. Nothing to worry about," He replied and then walked out of the room confused, and with what I thought was a look of sorrow in his eyes.

I was so screwed.

**A/N**: Sorry this was a short chapter. I'm not really sure where to go with this. I'm having a writer's block lol. I'm working on another fic now and once I finish it, I will probably come back to this one. Sorry!! xoxo, :)


End file.
